Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
