Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
