I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
