It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
