My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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