well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
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The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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