i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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