Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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