I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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