I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
