some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
