Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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