how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
