Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
