I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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