I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
