Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Oh god it's open bar.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
