last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize