found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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