Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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