Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
