She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We just shotgunned beers for America
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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