I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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