Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
