"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
