remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize