I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
