I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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