This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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