I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
