just come out here and I will go home with you...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
