remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
