I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
