it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize