Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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