is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
