I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
