This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
