You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize