We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
