if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
