I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
