come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
