Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
