Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
