Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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