can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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