Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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