At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we're making bets on your personal life
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
