I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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