just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's rum buckets o'clock
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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