someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
