Whod you bang
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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