He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
