someone owes me an orgasm
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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