after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We have started to decorate penises.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
