i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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