This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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