My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
