I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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