I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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