hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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