Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
