i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
